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[UPDATE! New layout. Pages and spreads!]

Were they a smoker? Not wear sunscreen? Eat a lot of red meat? 

Did they have unprotected sex?  Share needles? 

Who were they with? How long have they had that cough? Who might have they infected?


The what and the why:

This is a solo-journaling game that’s an exploration of guilt and internalized stigma related to illness, with cancer, AIDS, and tuberculosis as the foundational afflictions informing the game.

So much of my personal experiences*, readings (start with Susan Sontag's Illness as a Metaphor and AIDS as a Metaphor) ,and gleanings from academic conferences I based this on come back to statements and questions like this: 

  • I didn’t expect to feel this way.
  • Does anybody else feel this?
  • Am I the only one?

From both the afflicted and their caregivers. My goal, done the best way I know how: a “What you may expect…” that’s  shorter but more open-ended than a memoir,  while more personal than bullet point guidelines in a pamphlet or website.

 

The how:

You’re Sick (and It’s Your Fault) is derived from Chris Bissette’s Wretched & Alone engine but in addition to a more realistic–and unfortunately, more commonplace–setting, there’s the air of judgment, that the player character is responsible for their predicament. 

It’s not pleasant (NB: I put the safety section before anything else), but I hope it will be useful, even just to glance through.


I am still looking for co-creators to help with more specified versions of this in terms of disease, language, location. For example, my year spent as a semi-active member the Facebook tuberculosis support group trusting their Tagalog/English translating pretty much qualifies me to [THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK BECAUSE IT SHOWCASES MY QUALIFICATIONS WRT DETAILED DESCRIPTION OF THAT EXPERIENCE]


*(and yes, if I ever do a full release, there may be a fully annotated version in the manner of https://blinkingbirchgames.itch.io/anamnesis)

StatusPrototype
CategoryPhysical game
Rating
Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars
(3 total ratings)
AuthorDavid Moskowitz
Tagsaids, cancer, journaling, solitaire, Solo RPG, tuberculosis, wretched

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Buy Now$2.00 USD or more

In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $2 USD. You will get access to the following files:

youre-sick-and-its-your-fault-pages.pdf 756 kB
youre-sick-and-its-your-fault-spreads.pdf 731 kB

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NB: This is too important to the creator to let cost hold back readership. However, if you wish to pay, please note that all money generated from this will go towards translators, layout artists, and collaborators for future versions. 

Development log

Comments

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(+1)

Goodness this is an amazing use of this system. Even just reading through it feels so... weighty. Like... the weight of getting diagnosed. Of dealing with how it's my own fault somehow (I AM bad about putting on sunscreen... and I haven't been to a doc in many, many years). Of the concern over being a burden on others. Or just feeling worthless to myself... 

But it doesn't make me feel bad about these things in game form, it inspires empathy in an amazing way. And honestly it's a little hopeful? Like... I've always worried about memory-related illnesses, losing my hearing, my depression getting the best of me... And this kind of points out the reality that (1) these are the kinds of things that can happen to ANYONE, and (2) I think most people are worried about them to some extent

- ✨Beth

Like... the weight of getting diagnosed. [...] Of the concern over being a burden on others. Or just feeling worthless to myself... 

Thank you so much for the feedback.

One of the more difficult--and better--decisions actually involved trusting the player and their imagination:

The descriptions of the three illnesses (AIDS,TB,cancer) informing the game were originally 2nd person, very hostile and equally accusatory--just pure abuse. There was no doubt as to how you were supposed to feel. In fact, reading those drafts is what drove me to move the safety information to the very top of the document, and even after I did that, I scrapped what I had written about the specific illneses.